The Whodini song titled "Friends" has been playing in my head nonstop for the last couple of days. I've spent a lot of time thinking, "Who do I consider a friend?" I look at my Blackberry and see a full list of names, numbers, email addresses, etc. I'm saying to myself, "when push comes to shove who can I depend on? Whose going to wake up in the middle of the night to take my phone call because I can't sleep?" It's strange how loosely we use the term "friends". I've been fortunate and very blessed. The people I call my friends have been around for years. My girl, Frances and I have known each other since kindergarten. Though we live miles apart and lead completely different lives, I know she's got my back. She knows she doesn't even need to ask me that because I'll go to NJ in a heartbeat if she or her family ever needed anything.
Some "friends" are for a season. They leave an everlasting impression on you. My best friend in college was a man. We did everything together: party, travel, provide one another with a shoulder to cry on when things got tough. He passed away in 2004 and I was completly crushed. The only other person who had that impact on me was my dad. His death was the hardest thing I ever had to face. I knew my mom was there for me because she was hurting too; just in a different way. I was his little girl and could tell him anything and believe me I'd give him an earful. It didn't matter what I said; I knew that he loved me unconditionally. That's the same way my boy was with me. If I started acting the fool, he would tell me the truth; not what I wanted to hear. How many of us do that nowadays? How many people do you have in your life who will sit down and tell you flat out that you ish stinks to high heaven? Don't get me wrong.....there were moments when I wanted to kick his A$$$. I never stayed mad at him for long. I missed the sound of his voice, the way he laughed, all the drama that would take place in his life. I lived vicariously through him some times. Sitting on the phone, shaking my head in disbelief, mouth wide open because I couldn't wrap my mind around half the stuff he was saying. He was a BEAUTIFUL person and will always have a special place in my heart because he was unique, intriguing and loving. I'm happy to call him my friend.
There are those friends we party with. You know the kind....you hear about a party at the last minute and don't want to go by yourself and know that your homegirl is down as long as the men look good. Then there are those friends that you have deep, philosophical conversations with. Tonnisha and I have talked about a gazillon topics ranging from religion, politics, relationships...you name it. Our emails are L O N G!!! I've become a better typist because of it.
Then there are those friends of the opposite sex. They give you insight into the male psyche.(i.e. why do men act the way the do, say the things they say) I've found someone like that. Cool brother too. He enjoys reading and writing(YES ladies there are men in this world who do both. Imagine that); seeing movies; listens to REAL hip-hop and loves anime. He's tall, dark and handsome. We weren't talking for a minute and I really missed him. He needed time alone and wasn't in the mood to "share his feelings." I tried to stay quiet but you know me(and most of you know me PRETTY well) I've got to get in the last word. So, last Saturday I fired off an email telling him EXACTLY what was on my mind and it was a screen full. Here I was sending text messages thinking I was being cute, only to find out that the screen on his phone was broken so he couldn't read text messages and didn't have caller id. Now I felt like a donkey(heehaw, heehaw) because I would have known all of this had I called. Instead, I let my pride get in the way and was blaming him for everything. Have you ever done that before? Done something so childish and foolish that the person ought not to be your friend, but they put up with you anyway because deep down inside they know that you care about them? That's how it is between us. He knows that I care, genuinely care. I'm not judging him or trying to take anything away from him. I'm there for him anytime he needs me; no strings attached.
Download the song "Friends" by Whodini and listen to the words. Be still for a moment and take it all in. Once you've done that, pick up the phone, send a text message or email that person who means the most to you. Let them know that you are thinking about them. You'd be surprised at some of the responses you'll get. Remember, love is free....so give it away.
Till next time kiddes. Same bat time, same bat channel......
2 comments:
hey girl! I feel 'ya...there are season to everything...Whodini's song is perfect...good reference. There's this artist named Ledisi, she has a song called 'Alright'...the words really ring true, in one part of the song she says "Some people come, and they go, that's just the way that it goes..." I'm listening, thinking, wow! That's true! It really helps me to deal with things. I also had a friend that passed away, Frances knew her. Her name was Brandy...She was that friend that I could act silly with. I didn't have the chance to say goodbye. I always remember the good times we had, and it brings a smile instantly. Keep up the good posts!
i have that song you're referring to. it makes so much sense. there are moments when you want to give up but you don't cause you know tomorrow is another new day. it's easy to get caught up in our emotions. sometimes it can spur us in the right directions. other times, it can hold us back from reaching our full potential.
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