Thursday, August 20, 2015

The Female Viagra aka little pink pill

Y'all this bad. Really really bad. Instead of focusing on bringing women more pleasure by creating more attentive lovers or creating a healthy environment where women can express their sexuality freely without judgement, big pharmaceutica has created a pill. According to them, this pill addresses a woman's low libido. This drug, Flibanserin was approved by the FDA this June after being rejected in 2010. Now the company that makes the drug was purchased for $1 billion by another pharmaceutical company. This isn't a coincidence.*side eye* When the drug was first introduced it was manufactured by a German company. An American company Sprout acquired the rights to produce and manufacture the drug. They went on a media blitz gathering public support before reapplying to the FDA. I hate to be the bearer of bad news *smh* you don't need this drug. Chances are your low libido has nothing to do with a physical ailment. More than likely it has to do with your views on sex. What's needed is a more emotional, mental and spiritual solution. Tantra can address all of those things.

Gentlemen, you're probably thinking that this little pill is a godsend. Do you really want your wife/lover numbed out on some drugs just so she can have sex? Here are a few reasons why your lady may have a low sex drive:

thinking too much
self conscious of her body

You want her to feel free and enjoy the experience. How can she do that when her mind is preoccupied with the kids, homework, dinner, laundry, housekeeping and work? Something takes a back seat and unfortunately that leads to your sexual needs being unmet. Make no mistake, this isn't an excuse by any means. I want to point out all the things that women do to keep their families going. The best way to help her(and you) to have more fulfilling, connected sex is to learn tantra. The shit you did back in high school and college doesn't work anymore. No one(alright some do) wants their nipples twisted like a radio dial. She needs to feel safe. When you're are masculinity is at it's height in the bedroom, you'll another side of your lady. She'll blossom like a flower before your eyes. The level of energy between you two will be off the charts. Here are a few suggestions to make your lady feel special. Learn massage(take a class, rent a dvd; it's an art form). It's one of the best ways to get your woman to relax. Set up date night. Find a sitter for the kids, take her out to a nice restaurant and play/show. Surprise her with a weekend getaway. Help around the house without her asking. Handle that honey do list. Imagine how impressed she'll be when she sees all the things you've done around the house.

Ladies, you have to make time for your man as well. You can't say have a headache all the time. Tantra can help you heal those old wounds that you carry about sex. Trust me, I'm a work in progress. I've come a considerable way since taking Master Yao's Grand Trine Tantra course. I took Tiers I and II. I'm not nearly as advanced as his other female students and I'm ok with that. I know that I've grown and continue to change every day. I really want you to take the time and delve into this type of work. I also took Jujumama's i2Tantra course. There are plenty of other tantra programs out there. Find one that suits you. I only endorse programs that I've taken. What I do know is this, you don't want to be dependent on a pill for your sex drive. That's completely cutting your self off from your energy source (kundalini)

Also, practice self care. Sometimes we're so busy taking care of others that we don't take enough time to take care of ourselves. Treat yourself to a mani/pedi, spend the day at a spa. Grab a book and find a quiet corner to read. Let your partner/husband handle the kids. Take a dance or painting class. The important thing is you find something to do that is fun. Notice how relaxed you feel afterwards. When you're ready, make the first move on your man instead of waiting for him to initiate. He'll be happy you did.

These are all suggestions, not cures. If you are really having difficulty relating to your partner go to therapy. Just stay away from this drug. There's no telling what the long term side effects will be. Try all the natural ways first: change of diet, exercise, meditation before turning to prescription drugs.

The links below are articles from the Daily Beast.

Friday, May 16, 2014

Stop Shaming Part Deux ~ Love & Hip-Hop Atlanta Edition

Judge not, that ye be not judged ~ Matthew 7:1

it's easy to see something on tv, form an opinion and share it on #socialmedia. before #twitter, #Facebook, #tumblr, #Pinterest, #Google+ existed, we stood around the water fountain and gossiped about the latest celebrity escapade. the primary source for gossip was print media (aka National Inquirer) that provided scoops but no one considered that real journalism. now most of us get our entertainment gossip from blogs that provide video, audio and goodness knows what else our deprived minds can think of. 

the latest addition to this media circus is a #sextape that was allegedly stolen showing reality star Mimi with her boyfriend Nikko. i'm not a fan of #sextapes. i feel their exploitative. a private moment shared by two consenting adults does NOT need to be seen by the entire fcuking world. i say alleged because according to Mimi's boyfriend, his bag was stolen on the way from the airport. Said bag contained the camera and all the footage. we've all lost our luggage one time or another. i find it very suspicious that the bag that went missing was the one with the camera. as paranoid as i am, i never check in my electronic devices. i keep those by my side at all times. honestly, i think her F-lister boyfriend did it for publicity so he would have a storyline. i mean, have you ever heard his music played on the radio? does he even have an album? what label is he signed with? shouldn't he be on tour or something building stacks upon stacks? 

i place the focus on Nikko because everybody and their mother is busy pointing fingers at Mimi. she wasn't in the tape by herself. it takes two. he seemed really eager to capitalize on this misfortune. he was quick to throw shade at Stevie; even told him about selling the rights to the tape. what was the point of all that? Stevie and Mimi have a child together. what was this jackass thinking? they already have a hostile relationship why add more fuel to the fire? don't think for a second that i'm letting Mimi off the hook. what she did was fcuking DUMB. i understand why she did it. she made the fatal mistake of placing her trust in someone who wasn't worthy. ladies, we've all gone cray cray over some great dick. and from the looks of it, Nikko's dick must be made of titanium because she let it all hang out. shhhhhiiiiiitttttt, she bragged about how comfortable she was around him and how she never thought she was capable of doing such things because he made her feel safe. leaking that tape was the ultimate betrayal(besides infidelity). her girls warned her and were worried that something ugly could happen if the tape ever got lost. low and behold, the whole world has seen her cooch and his crotch(btw, i haven't watched the tape nor do i care to).

what gets my ovaries in a twist is how quick some people are throwing boulders at Mimi but aren't saying jack shit about Nikko. some people(primarily men i've noticed) feel that black women bring shame onto the race because they appear on reality shows. that's a broad generalization don't you think? i may not approve how reality stars choose to make their $$$$. i don't believe that a few misguided, desperate souls aching for attention represent the entire black race. a majority of people realize that these shows are scripted and staged. i admit it..... i like watching the train wreck called #love&hiphopatlanta. the shit is hilarious. it's one hour out of the week where my brain goes dead. when i compare my life to theirs, i appreciate what i have even more because my life is so boring. paparazzi aren't up in my cooch all the got damn time. i don't have to worry about those fleeting 15 minutes of fame. i don't have perform crazy antics for a storyline to keep checks rolling in. 

it has nothing to do with being smart or educated. reality stars good, bad or ugly choose to be on tv and have their lives on display. if you hate seeing people of color embarrass themselves week in and week out, change the fcuking channel. stop shaming folks. stop throwing boulders at folks who choose to act (if you can call it acting) on reality tv. stop making fun of people who watch this pile of crap. you don't like then good for you. do what you like. you're free to have an opinion. no one can stop you from having one. i implore you take a step back and put yourself in their shoes. we the audience have no idea what any of them are going through. we only see what the shows creator wants us to see. all we're getting is a glimpse into their lives. we can't ASSUME to know what is going on their mind(unless you have some super psychic powers and can read minds. IJS) i quoted the bible as a reminder. none of us would feel good about ourselves if strangers constantly said nasty things about us. these are HUMAN BEINGS with feelings. they have families like the rest of us. they bleed just like we do. the difference is their lives are on display for the whole world to see. we get to do our dirt on the low low and not worry about it appearing in a tabloid, gossip column, talk show or media blog. have a little fcuking sympathy for christ's sake. i really do feel sorry for them. there's no amount of money in the world scratch that..........there IS an amount of money that i would accept. honestly, there have to be a lot of 000,000,000's on it for me to make a fool out of myself. i mean millions upon millions of $$$$$$$. i'd be like #neneleakes and parlay that shit into a clothing line, perfume, radio gig, hosting a game show/award show, talk show, spin-off and commercial endorsements.    

so the next time you're going to twit or post anything negative about someone you don't know personally, ask yourself this would you feel if it happened to you? 

till next time............

Monday, April 7, 2014

Stop Shaming

     an article was posted on #facebook 2 weeks ago about a teenage girl caught having sex on school grounds with 3 boys. Another article about a father who found his daughter taking a shower with a teenage boy who he allegedly beat. when is this madness going to end? IMHO i don't think teens are mature enough to have #sex and should wait until their older. we all have friends or relatives who never reach that level of maturity.
     since the beginning of time, women have been demonized and chastised for having sex. the first woman was eve and as a result she is looked upon with contempt for causing the fall of man and his expulsion from the garden. yet, it is through woman that the Holy Spirit became flesh and was able to walk the face of the earth.
     we have to find a better solution. #abstinence alone doesn't work, shaming doesn't work. if it did shows like #teenmom wouldn't exist. this generation is shameless. they overshare everything. the methods used on my generation: fear, scolding, ostracizing doesn't work on these kids today. we have to develop ways where they can channel this #sexualenergy into something more useful and constructive. i'm not blaming the parents either. it's possible that the girl's parents had no idea what was going on because they're busy providing for her with food & shelter. or, maybe they're caught up in their own problems that they're not emotionally available. we have to get to the root of the problem; why do kids want to have #sex so young? what is it about #sex that's so appealing to them? it is easy to blame tv, songs on the radio, the decay of moral values etc. but it doesn't tell us anything. having frank discussions is a step in the right direction.
     also, we need to get rid of the double standard and raise the expectations for young men. the responsibility doesn't rest solely with girls. the attitude that "boys will be boys" is pure BULLSHIT!!! during their teen years, we tell girls to keep their legs closed and place a "high" value on their virginity. once a girl enters womanhood, society expects her to become a "freak". magazines publish all kinds of articles on how to please a man, how to keep a man, how to give amazing #oralsex etc. WTF do you think she's going to get the practice to be a #freak if it isn't with other men? let that marinate for awhile. if her number is too high, she's labeled a slut, whore and her chances of finding a man who won't judge her evaporates quicker than water in the Sahara desert during a sandstorm. when will boys be told to respect themselves and wait until they're older or in <3 .="" as="" get="" men="" much="" pressuring="" society="" stop="" to="" u="" when="" will="">pu$$y
as they can while their young. when will we stop rewarding this type of behavior with high 5's and pats on the back? we saw this scenario play out this season on #TheBachelor. the woman who had sex on the beach was suddenly viewed as undesirable because she was too easy. as a result, she was dismissed for expressing her sexuality. it's the exact opposite for boys. if a boy doesn't have #sex by a certain age, we ASSume something is wrong with him. it has to STOP. we don't have rites of passage where these kids can transition from childhood fully equipped to handle the challenges life has in store for them. instead, we choose to embarrass them and make them feel small. then wonder why they don't come to us with their problems.     i don't have a one size fits all solution. i'm lucky that my mom worked in healthcare and was honest with me. she didn't sugar coat SHIT. i probably knew more than i needed to for my age. all my information came from a reliable source based on facts not myths, gossip or conjecture. she allowed me to ask questions. i wasn't turned away or ignored. too many kids don't have anyone to talk to so they turn to the one place they feel safe the internet. we have to do better than this. it's time to step out of the Dark Ages and into the light.

Sunday, March 3, 2013

Pitbulls are a girls best friend

we've all heard it said that diamonds are a girls best friend. there might be some truth to that if you have lots of $$$. i say pitbulls are a girl's best friend. i had the opportunity to spend time with the loveliest animal Nikko. this adorable animal showered me with love during a difficult time.
i never thought about having a dog, spending time with Nikko changed that. his playfulness brought a smile to my face and kept me wildly entertained. his favorite game is brag the squeaky toy.(usually kept in his mouth) since my hostess lives in a small apartment there isn't a lot of room for him to run around in but he makes the most of it. i'd toss, he'd fetch and the games would commence. roughhousing with a 75 lbs. dog is no easy feat. i think i got more of a workout playing with him than i ever did doing yoga. he has an incredible grip. i'm happy that he considered me a friend instead of an enemy. i feel sorry for the person whoever crossed him because they're going down.

i would consider owning a pitbull if i had more space. my cats, Princess, Buttons and Lucky don't like sharing. hell i can't get them to share amongst themselves never mind another animal. maybe one day when i have a place of my own with a large fenced in yard, i'll treat myself to a dog like Nikko. until then, i'll just borrow other people's dog and like pictures on facebook.

Friday, March 1, 2013

Is race a factor when learning yoga?

as many of you know, i was supposed to attend a yoga retreat this past weekend. i was really excited because this particular practice is new to me. i expected some challenges and thought with the group support it would be a breeze. instead, the shit turned into a fcuking nightmare. i want to be clear, the facilitators are great; i'm not blaming them for anything that happened because it was out of their control. first, the logistics: when you have people coming from out of town telling them about PARKING are critical. i spent an hour driving around trying to find a parking space. as a result i missed the entire opening yoga sequence that binds the group together. my purpose for attending was to deepen my practice and engage in the therapeutics. this sets the foundation for the practice. without trust, there's no way you can properly support a member of the trio. because i was so preoccupied with PARKING(every 2 fcuking hours) i couldn't be present and focus on what was being taught. i left the room to get help with the PARKING app; that was another 20 minutes. when i tried to rejoin the group i was told i couldn't. mind you, i've missed an entire hour and now this tree(dude was that tall) is telling me i have to sit outside until the group is done and he'll tell me when i can go back in. first thought through my mind is WTF DUDE!!! i would have stayed in the room but thought it was disrespectful. i didn't want to get a ticket; i figured it was best to handle the situation PRONTO. tick tock, tick tock another 30 minutes passes by and i can finally enter the room right before we break for lunch. lucky me(can you sense the sarcasm here) i get lunch since i've had nothing to eat and hope for a better afternoon.

lo and behold this only gets worse(as if that was possible). we break up into groups of 3 and for whatever reason, i feel completely isolated and alone because no one seems interested in working with me. i ask one lady standing by the wall if we can practice together and i sense her disinterest. it isn't until a very cheery white lady joins us that she cheers up. so i'm thinking to i smell? is there a sign on my forehead that says damaged goods? we finish the sequences and the facilitator says switch groups. like a gaggle of geese, those who know each other and have bonded are off working together. at this point, i feel like the ugly duckling because i'm standing alone looking lost. i hide out in the bathroom for as long as i can and plan on joining the group on the next series. the next exercise is communication. i have a very O P E N throat chakra(like you haven't noticed that by now). i ask 3 ladies if i can join their group. everyone has to say something positive and provide feedback about the last series to the other members of the group. since i didn't participate in the last sequence there's not much for me to add. my nerves are fried, attitude sucks balls and all i want to do is curl up to a bottle of chilled tequila and get drunk. i do my best to keep it light because everyone else is happy, hippie and feeling yummy. got damn it, i want to feel yummy too but it's not happening and the more i try to force it the more i crave that bottle of tequila. i don't know why i chose tequila at that particular moment, i never really drank it much but it seemed like the perfect drink for this screwed up situation.

the facilitator says that it's OKAY(remember this because it's really important) for us to sit out if we're not feeling present. we can STAY and watch, go for a walk and rejoin the group when we're ready. since this series was more complicated than the last one and i only had 15 minutes left on my parking meter, i thought it best to sit it out. i'm practically hiding in the corner like a feral cat trying my best to stay out of everyone's way when bi-racial chick with buggy eyes tells me that if i'm not participating i HAVE TO leave. emphasis on the words "have to". fighting back tears, i tell her that i'm going to watch and my parking is about to expire that i'll join the group when everyone finishes this series. at this point, the heffa tells me i can do that outside in the lobby. beoytch i don't want to sit in the lobby. i didn't fly all the way from atlanta to sit in the fcuking lobby. i tell this cow that this is the 3rd time i'm been asked to leave. she's acknowledges what i said and goes on and on about safety and all this other bullshit. at this point, i've had enough. i want to ram my fist down her throat. i grab my stuff to leave. now she takes it seriously that i'm upset and asks tries to stop me from leaving. i'm storming down the stairs and she has the nerve audacity to say that i'll miss the announcements. does it look like i muthafcuking care about some got damn bullshit announcements? really heffa? are you that stupid, that you can't tell when another black woman is past her wits end? apparently, this trick didn't get it......because she was still talking. STFU!!!!!! the icing on the cake came when she told the white receptionist to keep an eye on me. really beoytch? as angry as i am with tears streaming down my face do you really think that i would jeopardize my freedom and fcuk up someones business over your sorry ass? the cherry on to top came when she said she hopes i'd come back tomorrow so we can work together. i wanted to round house kick her ass up the flight of stairs. i was floored, disgusted, insulted, pissed the fcuk off, shocked that a fellow yogi could be that freaking insensitive. that another woman, presumably a person of color would go out of her way to impress her white counterparts at the expense of another person, namely me.

everything that happened this weekend, put this practice in such a negative light. i've spent the last few days wondering if this is something i want to continue pursuing. i met a lot of cool people last november. i thought i was ready for this. i was the only black person taking yoga back in state college or at least it felt that way. i wasn't put off because everyone had a common goal and that was to practice yoga. this experience brought up more questions than answers. instead of feeling relaxed and uplifted, i left feeling dejected and depressed. that's not the experience i paid for. for those of you who practice yoga or any type of healing modality is this common? do you feel like the outcast in the group? in case you're wondering, i didn't go back. i didn't have the heart to. i felt so defeated and couldn't express myself without cursing and crying that i stayed in VA and played with my friend's dog. he made me laugh because he farted. that's another story for another day. peace      

Thursday, February 14, 2013

Everyday is Valentine's Day

Valentine's day is here. For couples, it means what gift do you get that special someone that isn't cheesy or cheap. For singles, it can be a dreadful day if you're not in a relationship. So I started thinking......why wait to celebrate love and all it represents on 1 particular day. Let's celebrate love everyday. We don't need a special occasion to remind those close to us that we love them especially those who we share our most intimate selves with. It's the thought that counts, not the amount of $$$$ you spend. If you find yourself with someone who only appreciates material things that you can't afford to provide, it may be time to move on. The saying I can do bad all by myself sums it up nicely. Why be with someone who doesn't care about you? This is why I love studying tantra. Tantra is about connecting with your partner on an intimate level. Developing a shared consciousness that goes beyond the physical realm. Man is the giver and woman is the receiver. Both join together to form a unique bond. This bond sustains body and mind, bringing us closer to the Universal Force. One becomes a part of the whole and vice versa.

Instead of spending $$$ on an expensive dinner, clothes or jewelry(unless it's an engagement ring because women love diamonds), give your partner something beyond measure YOURSELF. Let go of your troubles. set aside time to touch, taste, smell and see one another as spirits living a physical experience. Allow your sexual experiences to elevate your thinking. There is no right or wrong way to enjoy sex. What's important is that you spend quality time together.

Friday, February 8, 2013

There's a light at the end of the tunnel

Unhealthy ways of dealing with life:
     getting high
     abusing alcohol
     one night stands
the list is endless. There are better ways to deal with life's problems. Yoga helped me become more conscious of my behavior and face my depression. Yoga may not be the path for you. There is help available. You don't have to go through it alone. Mental illness is killing our communities (black and latino). Stop suffering in silence. It can get better with the proper treatment. Talk to your doctor or anyone who will listen until you are taken seriously. Continue to shine your light because you matter. In the infamous words of Tupac "keep your head up".