i haven't posted in a while. i had a lot of sh@t to do in a short amount of time. for one, i had a tumor removed from my salivary gland before my insurance ran out on july 31. that in itself was a trip because i couldn't talk for 3 weeks. imagine that..... me not talking for 3 WHOLE weeks. thank GOD for texting because that was my only form of communication with the outside world. then i had my battle with the unemployment office. short version....i got my benefits.
the purpose of this blog is to put an end to the double standard. i'm sick and tired of society having one expectation from women and letting men off the hook. i'm tired of weak, selfish, self-centered, immature dudes expecting women to bend over backwards for them and cater to their every whim. i'm tired of grown a$$ women pimping themselves to men just to get they hair did. i'm tired of people in general who say one thing and do the exact opposite with their actions. shut the F%$K UP already!!!!!! you can't have it both ways. we all need to stop enabling folks in our lives. let the chips fall where they will.
like i said earlier, i had surgery so i couldn't talk. one cat was calling me everyday during peak hours to see how i was doing. i must have texted him 1000 times saying that i was unable to talk. did he bother to read it? apparently not because he continued to call. i got to the point where i didn't bother to call when i COULD talk. another brother, who i hadn't spoken to in years reached out to me. it was all good at first until he started TRIPPIN!!! he starts calling at all hours of the day AND night. i'm like, WTF!!!! yes, it's true that i'm not working but i wasn't put here to stroke your DAMN ego. find something to do.....read a book, start a business, scratch your ass....do something but leave me the hell alone. we were cool back in the day but it's been YEARS since we kicked it like that. i'm not one to talk on the phone that much anyway. and many of you who know me know how i feel about the DAMN phone. let me ask all of you a question, if you're not working and i'm not working, does it make sense that we talk to each other on the phone during PEAK hours? i mean, we have to pay for that i$h. i'm under contract so if i go over my allotted minutes, i have to pay extra. why would i talk to you when all you want to do is fill my head with hot air? so what you miss me....GET OVER IT!!!!! i don't miss anyone that damn much that i have to call them the whole freakin' day.
this is what trips me out. if a woman were to call a man the throughout the entire day, everyone would refer to her as a CRAZY PSYCHO STALKER!!!!! guys would avoid her calls like the damn PLAGUE and block her number. but it's perfectly okay for a man to behave this way. he's viewed as being persistent; a woman is called CRAZY!!!! i'm trying to holla at this one cat, he's real cool, the harder i press the more he calls me CRAZY!!! i told him i don't like that word, it's not my fault he's a cutie. when he was doing the chasing, it was all good. now that i'm doing the chasing, he's all shy and at a loss for words. this is all the result of the DOUBLE STANDARD that exists in society today.
here's another example, i've been conversing with someone who i met on one of the social networks. in the beginning, things were cool. he seemed real down to earth. i was upstairs doing household chores and missed his phone call. since it was late and i had personal business to take care of i figured i would return his call the next day. well.....low and behold homie had a major ATTITUDE the next day. conversation was all tense, i'm thinking why the F@$K are you upset who has your panties in a bunch? he says, he's merely stating facts that i should have called him back regardless of the time. i'm keeping my cool as best as possible because my gut instinct was to HANG UP on him mid-sentence. he really was PISSING OFF the wrong latina. i could've CUSSED his sorry ass out. then i realized that i don't OWE him or anyone else an explanation for my actions. i kept repeating the same thing, i was busy and had more important things to do. within minutes the conversation was over. now i had the mind to send him a seething email putting him in his place. i'm glad i didn't because it wouldn't have proved anything. it just lets me know that this isn't the type of person i need in my life. EVER!!! i'll be civil cause nothing was lost or gained. i'll just keep him at a far distance. that's my whole point, if i EVER called a guy and went off on him for not returning my calls he would have gone OFF on me and told me to where to SHOVE IT!!!! and society as we know it today would have said that he was justified in his actions. according to society's standards because i'm a woman , i'm not SUPPOSED to keep a man waiting. some weak ass men feel that you should be HONORED that they've taken time from their day to talk to you. listen buddy, that works both ways. i will go out of my way to spend time with someone IF i feel that they deserve it. that's just the way i am. don't try to control me because you are INSECURE. i don't get down like that. once you cross that line, i'm stepping away. i'm not fighting you. for what, i don't see the point. we're not in an "exclusive" relationship, i'm not naive or stupid to think that i'm the ONLY woman you're trying to get with so let's keep it REAL!!!!! and know that you are not the only guy i'm talking to on the phone either.
we wonder why our relationships don't work. we're going into them for the wrong reasons. it's not a competition or power struggle. we deal with enough drama in the outside world and don't need to bring it home. our homes are a place of refuge, a place where you can lay down your SHIELD and be VULNERABLE. but that's not what's happening. men and women DO speak a different language. there is a common ground, it's a matter of patience to find it. men, women don't want to BITCH & NAG....we tell you things out of love. it may not sound that way, words are how we communicate. take the time to LISTEN to the message. if words aren't your thing, let her know that. we aren't mind readers. if you can't say it, write it down. find some constructive way to communicate. the longer it's pent up inside the more frustrated you will get. that's detrimental to your health and destroys your relationship. if you appreciate all she does for you, SHOW HER. it's not about the money. some of you out there are BROKE as hell and know that you have a GOOD woman holding you down no matter what. if you don't do it, BELIEVE me, someone else will. women, now y'all be trippin FOR REAL. men want your support. thank him for the things he does RIGHT instead of focusing on all the shit he does wrong. a hug, a kiss, some nookie, some head...give the man something to look forward to when he comes home. i can't tell you the number of married men i hear from who feel rejected, unloved and unappreciated. then we wonder why they drink too much, go to the strip club or find mistresses. having a relationship shouldn't be work, it's about LOVE. you're going to face challenges, how you address those challenges will determine the strength of your relationship.
we owe it to ourselves to KILL the double standard. it hasn't gotten us anywhere. all it does is divide us and keep us from what we really long for...... LOVE. as the Beatles once sang, "all you need is love."
marinate on this and holla at your girl when your ready. peace & blessings......
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