The Ugly Truth

OMG!!!!!!  yesterday i experienced an emotion that i hadn't experienced in a long time.  this emotion is referred to by many names one being the green eyed monster also called jealousy.  you're probably wondering what happened............did someone say something or act in a foolish way to stir up this particular emotion.  i can honestly tell you it was none of the above.  it was a comment posted on a social network(it's not facebook).  it was so strange.  one minute i'm reading comments posted in the discussion forum then all of a sudden i see this comment and the first thought that jumps into my head is "oh no she didn't!!!!  who does she think she is trying to step to my man!!!!"  the irony is i'm single.  i'm not married, i'm not engaged, i'm not in a committed relationship so how could i call this person MY man?  WHOA i had to check myself and fast.  what was causing this insecurity? why was i taking it so personally?  the comment had nothing to do with me; it didn't even refer to me.  it was my interpretation, my inability to see clearly (avidya ~ sanskrit) that was causing me to feel this way.  the feeling that i was losing something that i felt was rightfully mine(though i have no claim to it).  how many times have you acted, said or done something so stupid because you were completely blinded by e-motion(energy in motion)?  in the past, i have done things that would make a priest blush all because i thought i was right or owed an explanation.  in this case, there was nothing to explain because nothing happened.  what i read was a comment shared between two people in a public forum; that's it.  nothing more, nothing less.  i could either accept it for what it was or make myself sick with worry trying to read more into it.  i chose to accept it and move on.  trust me, i'm a work in progress and have my moments.  what's important is recognizing what happens and taking the immediate steps to correct it.

earlier today, i watched an episode of one of my favorite shows Ghost Whisperer.  the episode was about a ghost who died as a result of his jealousy.  sound familiar?  was this coincidence?  i don't think so.  it showed what can happen when people suspect the worst.  it started as an innocent prank on a radio show.  one character wanted, needed reassurance that her husband was faithful.  it didn't matter how many times he said i love you she didn't believe him.  because of her insecurity and constant accusations he left to be with another woman(who so happened to be the former fiance of the ghost).  they got together AFTER the guy(aka ghost) went missing.  but that's not how the wife or the ghost saw it.  the ghost died on his way to confront the fiance he thought was cheating.  turns out it was all a great misunderstanding; no one was cheating.  the perception and feeling of inadequacy that the jilted parties felt blinded them from the truth.  their partners cared about them and wouldn't have done anything to jeopardize their respective relationships.  i really appreciated the message the episode gave.  instead of wasting time trying to impress others, seeking their approval, or asking them accept us unconditionally we have to accept ourselves for who we are and recognize the beauty that surrounds us.  by looking within, we can find all that we need and don't have to place unrealistic expectations on others.  sting said it best "if you love someone, set them free".  jealousy is an unhealthy e-motion that results from fear.  i choose to live a life withOUT fear.  by doing that, i FREE myself.