Can Love Conquer All?

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYBODY!!!!  I hope all of you had a blessed, peaceful and relaxing holiday.

For the past few weeks I've wanted to write about love.  You know the romantic kind of love; the type of love you see in the movies, read in books and fantasize about.  You know that mushy feeling you get when you see the person that sends your heart all a flutter.

I was watching a movie this afternoon and wondered, "Can love conquer everything?"  I mean, really.........does love trump reality?  In light of all the celebrity scandals in 2009, I think it's safe to say that LOVE isn't enough to keep a relationship going.  Since this is a new year and the beginning of a new decade I won't dredge up all the examples, all you have to do is turn on the tv or read the entertainment section.  When did LOVE stop being enough?  I believe in love; I like being in love.  All is right with the world:  colors are vivid & bright, food tastes better, getting stuck in ATL traffic isn't as annoying(and trust me the only thing worse than traffic in Atlanta is LA traffic; they drive crazy over there) but I digress.  Everything is GREAT when you're in love.  Then something happens, the honeymoon ends(usually around 6 months) and things that you were able to ignore or thought were cute start to annoy the S@%T out of you.  Mind you, the person always had these habits he/she hasn't changed BUT now you WANT them to change.  So you start working out ways to fix them, mold them, trying to get them to do things that will in the end(hopefully) re-create the feelings you had in the beginning.

Problem is, sometimes it doesn't work.  Sometimes you grow a part.  You may feel that you've invested too much time and effort into making this relationship work so you're not willing to walk away.  Even though it's painfully obvious that both of you are UNhappy.  When you're dating, walking away is easier(unless they're psychotic).  What happens when you're married?  There was a time when couples stayed together for the sake of the children.  You don't see that now.  Staying in an unhealthy situation is never the answer; it doesn't solve anything.  All it does is create a hostile environment and sets a poor example for children.  Then there's the alimony and spousal support.  I used to think that women deserved the amount of money they got.  That frame of mentality has changed.  Some of this ish doesn't make sense anymore.  How can a person demand $76,000/month in alimony?  As Ed Lover would say, "C'mon Son!!!!"  Have we as women lost our forsaken minds?  Each case is different, but I'm saying though.............WTF?  If you're a woman who never worked and held your man down while he took on the world that's one thing.  There was a time when women didn't have access to education or job opportunities.  That's not the case today.  Is it rational to ask for a large sum of money just to maintain your level of lifestyle?  What happened to getting a job and setting an example?  Then we wonder why men don't want to be married!!!  I don't even buy into the shortage of men.  That's straight up BULLS@&T .  Divorce is expensive as hell. 

A friend criticized me once for wanting the perfect man.  I told him plainly that what I expected wasn't perfection.  I want someone who is a provider.  Men are hunters and gathers; go hunt, bring home the kill so I can cook it, dayum it.  My role is to hold you down while you're out taking on the world.  I want someone who is honest; don't tell me what you think is going to make me happy.  There's a proper way to tell the truth without bruising my ego, in turn I pledge not to ask stupid questions like "does this outfit make me look fat" or "do you miss me" or "so what do you think about when we're alone together".  Be trustworthy, have table manners, show compassion to those less fortunate.  And when someone steps to me the wrong way, be ready to WHOOP that ASS!!!!  Is that asking too much?  I don't like the term submissive.  Believe me when I tell you that there are certain men in my life who I don't go off on.  I don't do it because they're handling business and not going to tolerate it.  A male friend says all a man wants is peace.  Ladies let me tell you he's telling the absolute truth.  A man will give you the shirt off his back(literally) once he knows that you support him.  It's okay to disagree and have a different point of view, men don't want robots.  A man needs to know that the woman in his life respects him. 

Does love play a role?  LOVE is a fleeting emotion(i.e. energy in motion).  Our feelings change every minute of the day.  For a relationship to work, for the planet to heal, for humanity to evolve there has to be more than love.  All that is good has to be put into practice and lived as a code of honor, only then will LOVE conquer all.