Monday, April 7, 2014

Stop Shaming

     an article was posted on #facebook 2 weeks ago about a teenage girl caught having sex on school grounds with 3 boys. Another article about a father who found his daughter taking a shower with a teenage boy who he allegedly beat. when is this madness going to end? IMHO i don't think teens are mature enough to have #sex and should wait until their older. we all have friends or relatives who never reach that level of maturity.
     since the beginning of time, women have been demonized and chastised for having sex. the first woman was eve and as a result she is looked upon with contempt for causing the fall of man and his expulsion from the garden. yet, it is through woman that the Holy Spirit became flesh and was able to walk the face of the earth.
     we have to find a better solution. #abstinence alone doesn't work, shaming doesn't work. if it did shows like #teenmom wouldn't exist. this generation is shameless. they overshare everything. the methods used on my generation: fear, scolding, ostracizing doesn't work on these kids today. we have to develop ways where they can channel this #sexualenergy into something more useful and constructive. i'm not blaming the parents either. it's possible that the girl's parents had no idea what was going on because they're busy providing for her with food & shelter. or, maybe they're caught up in their own problems that they're not emotionally available. we have to get to the root of the problem; why do kids want to have #sex so young? what is it about #sex that's so appealing to them? it is easy to blame tv, songs on the radio, the decay of moral values etc. but it doesn't tell us anything. having frank discussions is a step in the right direction.
     also, we need to get rid of the double standard and raise the expectations for young men. the responsibility doesn't rest solely with girls. the attitude that "boys will be boys" is pure BULLSHIT!!! during their teen years, we tell girls to keep their legs closed and place a "high" value on their virginity. once a girl enters womanhood, society expects her to become a "freak". magazines publish all kinds of articles on how to please a man, how to keep a man, how to give amazing #oralsex etc. WTF do you think she's going to get the practice to be a #freak if it isn't with other men? let that marinate for awhile. if her number is too high, she's labeled a slut, whore and her chances of finding a man who won't judge her evaporates quicker than water in the Sahara desert during a sandstorm. when will boys be told to respect themselves and wait until they're older or in <3 .="" as="" get="" men="" much="" pressuring="" society="" stop="" to="" u="" when="" will="">pu$$y
as they can while their young. when will we stop rewarding this type of behavior with high 5's and pats on the back? we saw this scenario play out this season on #TheBachelor. the woman who had sex on the beach was suddenly viewed as undesirable because she was too easy. as a result, she was dismissed for expressing her sexuality. it's the exact opposite for boys. if a boy doesn't have #sex by a certain age, we ASSume something is wrong with him. it has to STOP. we don't have rites of passage where these kids can transition from childhood fully equipped to handle the challenges life has in store for them. instead, we choose to embarrass them and make them feel small. then wonder why they don't come to us with their problems.     i don't have a one size fits all solution. i'm lucky that my mom worked in healthcare and was honest with me. she didn't sugar coat SHIT. i probably knew more than i needed to for my age. all my information came from a reliable source based on facts not myths, gossip or conjecture. she allowed me to ask questions. i wasn't turned away or ignored. too many kids don't have anyone to talk to so they turn to the one place they feel safe the internet. we have to do better than this. it's time to step out of the Dark Ages and into the light.

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